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Best and or Funniest Speeding Excuses
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When it comes to trying to get out of a ticket, some
people really know how to get creative. There is one story of
a woman who carries a camera in her car, purely as a prop to
show cops as she tells them she's rushing to the hospital to
meet her pregnant sister, for whom she promised to take pictures
during delivery. Another story is about a guy who always drives
around with a full water bottle at the ready. Anytime he's pulled
over, he pours a little out onto his lap, and then tells the
approaching officer he's been trying to rush home ahead of a
bladder emergency.
Below are some examples
of excuses some people have used.
"I am a funeral director, the law does not bother a hearse
on the highway at any speed. But this one time I had a time
to be at an out of town crematory, and I was in a van, taking
an unembalmed body to be cremated and he got me at 90 mph on
the Interstate, when he stopped me and asked what was my hurry,
I said, 'Brother, I have to be at a crematory in an hour or
I'll miss my appointment time and they will be closing for the
weekend.' He said, 'So.... ' I said, 'Take a whiff
in the back, he stuck he head in the side window and jerked
it back out and said sir hurry along and be careful."
"I was driving along one day minding what I thought was my
own business, and kind of daydreaming. I must have gone a little
faster than I should have and was pulled over and stopped by
a state police officer. My husband is a former police officer
and told me how he always let someone go if they could tell
him a reason for speeding that he hadn't heard before. I knew
I had to think quick because he was now approaching my door.
He advised me that the reason he was stopping me was I had exceeded
the posted limit by 15 miles over. I looked him in the eye and
asked him sternly "Do you have any idea what I did to the last
cop who stopped me for speeding?" He looked a little shocked
and began feeling more cautious. I said, "I married him." I
believe he is still laughing, he just walked away and said slow
down, have a nice day. I was so pleased that for once my husband
told me something that would really work."
"My sister in law was pulled over one day for speeding and
she said to the passenger with her "O dear God don't let him
give me a ticket" the officer came up to her and as he was looking
over her driver's license the call came over the radio that
the church down the road was on fire. He jumped in his car and
told her it was her lucky day. My sister in law said "God you
did not have to go to that extreme."
"As I was driving out of the local mall, I made
a left turn and headed toward the highway. I suddenly realized I
was being followed by a police car with flashing lights. I couldn't
figure out why. I had done nothing illegal. (I thought.) However,
I pulled over, hoping he wasn't after me, but he was. He asked for
the usual: license, registration and insurance, which I handed over.
I sat and waited patiently wondering what was going on. I suppose
the look on my face said it all because he asked, "Do you know why
you were pulled over?" I answered, "No." He informed me that I made
a left turn and that was an illegal turn. I became so angry that
before I realized what I was saying, I blurted out, "Well, why don't
you ever pull my husband over? He makes that turn every time we
come to this mall. What are you, a chauvinist or something?" He
stared for awhile and then roared with laughter as he said, "Well,
go home and tell your husband he's been lucky and not to make that
turn again." He let me go."
"My wife - a fairly quiet and reserved but very
pretty blonde woman - was pulled over by a Washington State Patrol
office for driving 75 mph in a 55-mph zone. When the office walked
to her car and asked her why she was speeding, she told the patrolman
that she was married to a police officer who had told her that as
long as she was traveling with the flow of traffic she would not
be pulled over and would be okay. The patrolman, having heard all
the excuses, or so he thought, told my wife that there were no other
cars within a quarter-mile of her when he clocked her on the radar.
She looked at him and told him she knew that, but that the group
of cars she had been traveling with got boring so she was trying
to catch up with the group in front of her. Apparently this was
a new one to the patrolman, she said he giggled a little bit, told
her to slow down, drive safely, and have a nice day. She says she
could see him laughing and shaking his head as he walked back to
his car."
"The vehicle was packed with four ladies destined
for a daylong shopping trip. I was driving and we were cruising
right along when I was stopped by a police officer for speeding.
I rolled down my window as he walked up beside the car and asked
the inevitable question. "Do you know how fast you were going?"
I really didn't so I answered, "No, officer, I don't. But I'm sure
I was moving right along because I was just trying to keep up with
my mouth." He bent down and looked at the car full of women, laughed,
and just told me to slow down. I can't believe that my quick comment
worked, but it did. No ticket that day - which meant more money
for shopping!"
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